Originally written 11-12-06

drunk dials are so much fun. I've been meaning to transcribe what could possibly be the greatest drunk dial of all time that I got about a month and a half ago from John. Honestly any drunk dialness I could try from now on would never compare. So here it is in all of it's majesty:
Making movies making shows and fightin' round the worldMaking movies making shows and fightin' round the worldRussell Crowe was fightin' round the world!!!!
What's up *****-a-licious!?!? How's it goin ma friend? I know it's the crack of dawn at fucking 2 o'clock there in the morning there in Atlanta town, but um, yeah, wake your ass up! It's a fucking school night here at San Luis Obispo, and um, yeah, you know? You should be waking ready to receive some drunk dial messages from your friend John-a-than! So, Shaughn-athan, wake up! Wakeupwakeupwakeup! Hahahaha
(to his girlfriend): Why are you doing laundry Banna? (angry girlfrend in backround yeling inaudibles with "I need to get this fucking shit out!" - I found out later from John it was because he threw up all over her)
Anyway man, (more laughing) Shaugh-athan, Shaughn-athan, wake your your little butt up! (girlfriend yells something else, and John mimics her) Get off of your girl of the hour whoever she is and uh give me a call because (doing a scary dunk impersonation of Joe Namath) I need to kiss you! (more girlfrienddisust in background) Hey Hey! I want to kiss you, you're so pretty! You and your little Suzy Kolber vein... rahrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr
Girlfriend (in background) Did you really just do that?
Yeah, I really just did that! What the fuck are you going to do about it you fuggin' whore!?!? You fuckin bitch, go fucking run away! Yuh... you wanna fuckin fight! Let's fuckin go! Alright, Shaughn you're going to be on the phone while I fuckin fight this bitch!
girlfriend: (sarcastically) "Yeah"
John (with an English accent for the first sentence, then no accent): UNLOCK THE FUGGIN DOOR YOU FUGGIN WHORE! Unlock the door so I can kick your... rahhhhhhhhh... Well, Shaughn that's realy bad. you've heard the best and the wors**END OF MESSAGE, TO DELETE PRESS 9...
**OFFICIAL DISCLAIMER: John does not really beat his woman, and I do not condone domestic violence. Please understand that this is a joke. And for the love of God, don't send me messags or leave me comments saying that I am some sort of mysoganist (sp?) and don't take life so seriously.