Back like Rocky taking down Clubber Lange

Hey y'all! Dang it's been a while right?

So here's a quick update - I live in the midwest now. The last item I was attached to at my place of business wrapped a few months ago and I was whisked from the Carolinas back to the ATL and now I'm stationed in the Midwest. It's been an adjustment, but there are casinos everywhere (apparently due to the heavy presence of Injuns). The people are a little different, as you might expect, and some things are indeed bigger as you get closer to Texas.

Two things about living in the midwest:

1) Being on Central time sucks. Have you ever noticed how whenever they show what time thigns are coming on TV central time is always starting an hour ahead? You might think, wow, I could get an extra hour of sleep if Gossip Girl got done early! (I know I do!) Anyway, that's really not how it works. Most of the time your brain doesn't activate "TV time" until it's well past prime time and you're stuck watching the tail end of some shitty drama because you can't sleep yet and there's nothing else on.

2) I think that the United State is one giant bell shaped curve and the statistic being demonstrated is "ugly people." Each end of the bell shaped cureve would be a coast.... are we getting the mental picture? Granted I'm not one to talk, but as someone who grew up in Southern California and spent a large amount of my life in the South, the midwest seems to horde all of the uglies... from an aesthetic perspective I guess you could say I fit right in.

Other random notes on the new living arrangements -

I've met a bizarro Tagen. I really have no other way of putting it. Basically this guy who I've talked to occaisionally is the antithesis of Tagen's personality, but each time I talk to him I can't shake the thought "I'm talking to a bizarro version of Tagen right now." I think it's because they both work in chain eatery management. Or the fact that this guy is a complete douche and Tagen is definitely not. I haven't really decided. (and I'm not being overly judgey; this individual is just completely full of shit)

I think the sports term "homer" or "homerism" really gets its meaning in the Midwest. I may have a West Coast bias and I'm sure an East Coast bias exists, but people in the Midwest are just flat out delusional when it comes to basic concepts. I heard someone refer to Dirk as "clutch" during the recent Mavs Lakers game. That's about the best example I can come up with, and I think it illustrates my point perfectly.

Strip clubs in the midwest suck donkey balls. I realize I've got way too many stripper stories at this point, but I can't drive home the point enough right now. In fact I'm making my own strip club etiquette rule right now: If she's not getting naked, I'm allowed to grab her ass. I don't understand how establishments haven't adopted this rule. The next rule is more for me: if she offers you a menthol, turn it down; youll smell like ass the next day if you smoke it.

Everyone plays poker like their auditioning for a role int he new Maverick movie. Seriously, it's retarded. I've never seen such boorish behavior than what I see weekends in the poker rooms here. Last weekend some idiot busted out a WSOP rulebook and tried to apply those rules to a cash game. Hilarious.